The Before

The pic on my profile is the pic right before I flew to New Orleans. I mean literally Christina and I were in a restaurant in IAH, eating before our flight. Well look how that all turned out. Please don't tell me I'll find someone better or it just wasn't meant to be or he's an idiot because none of it matters now. All i feel is broken, and its been 2 months, so how pathetic am I? Please don't say it takes time because this time it just doesnt feel like it. I know I'll never get an answer but y? Y me? Y do I have to keep dealing with this? What did I ever do to deserve it? I know I know....nothing it's not me, but y do everyday freakin day I wake up and he's the first thing I think about, the person I think about all day, and the person I think about before i go to sleep. Y does it hurt so much and y can't i just be done? Please don't answer because i can't handle anymore "you're better than him" or "he's an idiot" or