Monday, July 26, 2010
Just average!
There has been exactly one time in my entire life that someone has called me "average". It happened my third year of teaching. This year was by far the most difficult, challenging, horrendous year of my teaching career, maybe even my life. I made it through it though. I might not have always done the best thing but I tried my hardest that year to do what I thought was the right thing at the time. The other teachers use me as a reference when telling stories about horrible teaching years, this is how bad it really was. Average people would have run from the building screaming and never looked back. Average people would have packed up their pointers, stickers and markers and abandoned those kids but I didn't. I know what I did that year was a feat of phenomenal proportions. However, that year I was still called "average". Even though I know that the majority of the time I am anything but "average", those words still haunt me. I can't get rid of them. It's been two years and every scary thing brings me back to those words. It's really frustrating. I want to know how to get rid of these words. I seem to think that maybe if someone tells me I'm extraordinary then that will make everything better. I'm not totally sure about that plan but somehow I've got to get over it.
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Growing up, I often thought, "I wish I was Juli." Not just because I wanted to blonde and white...lol...but because you always seemed to do what you set out to. You seemed confident, you were dedicated, you wrote pretty, you had great hair and a tiny waist and you actually jogged the whole mile in tennis.
ReplyDeleteThen, we grew up and you went to school, got your degree and just seemed so happy. I found myself still envying you and wanting to be in your shoes.
Now, we are adults and while I still look up to you and marvel at what you've accomplished, I know that wishing to be you was not what I should've done, but thanking God that you were in my life was. You are one of the most inspiring people I've ever met. You've been places, met people and done things I'll never do and I always sit back and think, "that's my friend, Juli" and I beam at the thought that I am your best friend and that no matter what, we'll always have each other. I don't always know why it is that we understand each other, but we do.
I could hardly use average to describe someone such as yourself. Incredible, loyal, wonderful, inspiring, uplifting, funny, beautiful, amazing....even those fail to resonate what you are and yet they're the only words I have available to describe you, my friend.
:) You, are not average.