lock down

I highly doubt that anyone actually reads my blog, and I'm okay with that. However, because I am applying to teach internationally I have to make my blog private. I don't want people putting my name in google and comin up with this blog. Really, I dont think there is anything inappropriate or scandalous but I'd rather be safe than sorry. So if anyone is lurking out there and reads it and wants to keep reading it then just send me a message and Ill add u to the list. I totally lurk on tons of other blogs mostly of people i don't even know, so really I'll be flattered more than anything.

I LOVE....

I probably should have done this yesterday since it was Valentine's day and that would make more sense, however, my time machine is broken so today will have to be the lucky day. Here are some things I love in no particular order:

my family
my friends
God
Jesus
Spain
Spanish
my students
my car
my ipod
spanish
Wii
hummus
yoga
peanut butter
books
reading
blogging
travelling
sunflowers
my bed
wine
sushi
learning
school


There's probably alot more stuff I love but that's it for now.

Oh Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and it stinks. I know that I'm supposed to be all positive and not be a negative Nelly about it but really it's super annoying to be reminded every year that I'm alone. I know this isn't the worst thing possible in life that could possibly happen but after a while you get a little tired of it. I know I'm single, I know I have absolutely zero love interests right now, I don't need the giant flower and crazy balloon maze that I have to walk through at the grocery store to remind me. I think the thing that worries me the most is that what if this is as good as it gets? I like my life, it's not a bad life but I dont want to spend the rest of my life hugging my pillow in my sleep. That's just a lil sad. I'm sure some people will say oh don't worry you're only 28 and while that is true a small part of me can't help but worry that 28 will turn into 38 and then 48 then 58 then 68 and then 78 and then 88 and Ill be chilling in the retirement home with nobody next to me and no visits from kids and grandkids. That is the part that scares me the most. I also relize that I can have kids without a husband but really I don't want to choose to be a single mom. I know lots of single moms and they are amazing people but I want to be able to share all those things with someone else. I just want someone to hold my hand, that's all. The End.