Turning 30

Turning 30 was amazingly awesome. I really don't think I've ever had a better birthday. I felt completely totally loved and it lasted for 2 weeks. The day of my actual birthday I got up and felt really sore, thanks to my kickboxing class the night before. :) At work everyone from teachers, students, administrators, to parents wished me a happy birthday. My kids brought me presents and one mom brought cupcakes for our class. It was a great day!
After that I headed home and my dad showed up to grill steaks and drink martinis. I got tons of phone calls, emails, facebook messages and Christina sent me 30 birthday cards. Then it was off to New Orleans with Christina. My mom paid for our hotel so we got to stay in the Sheraton....very nice. To top it all of my little brother surprised me, literally by jumping out as I was coming out of the bathroom. I had a great time in New Orleans with Christina and my brother. They really made me feel super special the whole weekend and I know I'll never forget this trip.
Then a week later I got to celebrate again with my super awesome Karoake party thrown by Carmela. My mom even came to town. The party was super fun and lots of people showed up which again reminded me of how loved I really am. It's not that I don't know this but sometimes I forget, I'm human right. The best part was the amazing cake Carmela made by hand for me. It was amazing and everything I've ever wanted in a cake. It definitely was a turning 30 cake. I'm still so impressed that she made such a great cake, not that I didn't think she could but it was pretty intricate. It also tasted wonderful.
Before I had turned 30 I was kind of depressed about it and I really wanted to lose a bunch of weight so I could impress people and I wanted to be healthier. The losing a whole bunch of weight didn't work out as well as I had hoped but my friends and family made me feel so loved that it didn't even matter. I will never forget this birthday and I hope that everyone who made everything happen know how much I appreciate them and love them. I only hope that I can make them feel as special as I did this birthday. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I can't feel my arm

Well that's not really true. I can feel it but using it might not be possible. Thanks to bodypump. It totally kicked my butt and my arm this morning. It felt good to be in the gym toning up, especially after the 2 week long birthday extravaganza. You only turn 30 once or at least I hope cause I love birthdays but this one wore me out! I'll post more on leaving my twenties behind later. Back to bodypump, it makes me feel like a bad ass, mostly cause I'm lifting weights. I can do 5lbs. now....woo hoo!!!! :) I have a feeling that tomorrow there will be a lot more body parts that aren't functional.

Success!!!

I actually accomplished two of my "If I dos" from my previous post and I do feel a lot better. I also feel great because I went to zumba tonight. It's a great workout and I'm getting better and better at it. I wish I could bottle up the sense of accomplishment I feel after a good workout so then on days when I'm not motivated I could take a whiff and get my bottom to the gym. I also like how working out makes me feel stronger and healthier. I'm totally not the most graceful at zumba, I have a limited amount of rhythm and apparently my hips only shake sexily when I'm intoxicated. Despite all that I feel good when I'm doing it because I know that I'm doing something good for me, I'm taking the time to take care of myself and that is a nice feeling.
I've also discovered that I love swimming. It's such a great summer exercise. Usually during the day no one is at my pool so I'm all alone with just my thoughts, my goggles and a dead hermit crab without it's shell. Well that last part only happened yesterday. I like being outside and in the sun but not sweating to death. I also like to be able to get lost in my thoughts as I swim my laps. Swimming is also a great all over body exercise and it doesn't put any pressure on my joints, don't have to worry about my knee while swimming.

If I had....

If I had.....taken the last 8 months of my weight loss journey seriously there would be less of me.

If I had.....gone and worked out yesterday I wouldn't feel so fat today.

If I had....said no to 2 pieces of cake, 3 mini cupcakes and a brownie, the scale wouldn't be up today.

If I had....gone to Weight Watchers last week I would have been more on track this week.

I totally copied this format from another blog that I read but I really like it. Basically to sum it up I need to stop agonizing over all the"If i hads" and start focusing on the "If I dos" then I'll probably be more successful. So If I do....

go to the gym 3 times a week I'll relieve stress.
go to Weight Watchers meetings every week, it'll be easier to stay on plan.
track all my food I'll be more likely to stay within my points.
pick myself and dust myself off when I fall off the wagon I'll be a healthier happier me!

I think the "If I dos" sound much better than the "If I hads".

Cutting the Bull*$#@!

I copied that from another blog but it's pretty spot on so I figured I could borrow. I don't even know where to begin. Hmmm let's begin with the insomnia. I can't sleep, when I do fall asleep I wake up every couple hours. I'm tired all day long. It's not fun. Next, the depression, this week has been a particularly depressing week. There's not really a specific reason why just things piling up. I have decided that I need to stop letting other peoples actions and reactions affect me. Life is way to short to walk around being depressed. I also got my psychiatrist to give me some sleeping pills and up my antidepressants. Hopefully this will help work most of this out. I have actually been eating within my points the past couple days although i haven't been working out very much. I attribute the lack of exercise to my exhaustion from my inability to sleep so hopefully that will also work it's self out. Finally, I'm going to College Station this weekend so I think getting out of town will give me a mini vaca. yay!!!

Hungry, hungry Hippo!

Remember that game? It was so fun to get your hippo to eat the most balls. The great thing was the hippos never got any bigger no matter how many balls they ate. Who doesn't love a game that encourages eating as much, as fast as you can? Last night I became a hungry, hungry hippo. I ate 6 waffles in one sitting, an omelet and 2 pieces of turkey bacon. I would've have definitely won had this been a game.
First, I started off with an omelet, 2 pieces of turkey bacon and 2 whole grain waffles. It was fine I had the points but after eating that I wanted two more waffles and then again another 2 more waffles. Needless to say yesterday was a rough day. In fact the whole day had been off at least with my emotions. Yesterday was one of those rare days when I was pretty down in the dumps. Luckily those are pretty rare, thanks antidepressants. :)
So today I went back and tracked all my food from my giant feast and am now feeling better about it.

Oh Scale!

I have a complicated relationship with my scale, in fact I dare to say most people have a complicated relationship with their scale. It's a love/hate relationship. I love it when it says there's less of me but I hate it when I say there's more of me. It's not only my personal scale that these emotions relegated to it's my Mom's scale, my Grandma's scale, my friends scales, the scale at the doctor, the gym and the scale I had to step on in Vegas before getting in a helicopter. My own personal scale takes the brunt of this relationship though. In fact, if this were a real relationship I would have dumped my scale by now. We may have gotten back together a few times and tried to make it work but ultimately I would have dropped it's sorry butt! I avoided my scale the week before I left for Vegas and managed to avoid all scales with the exception of the helicopter scale, until this morning. I finally had the courage to step on the scale in my mom's house. I hate that the mere sight of a scale freaks me out but it's a necessary evil for me at least. Although this particular scale is up it wasn't horrible considering I've been on vacation for the past 2.5 weeks. The good thing about putting on my big girl panties and stepping on the scale, I went on a walk directly after and have managed to track all my food so far today. Oh the power of the scale!

A lil out of control

I've been feeling a bit out of control these past couple days. I just can't seem to get my head in the game so to speak. I'm not really sure what it is but it probably has to do with the start of my summer vacation. Although I love summer it's an unstructured time for me. This is good in the sense of me being able to do whatever I want when I want to but in other ways I need that regimented schedule. It keeps me from eating all day and it also limits what I can eat since I only have access to the food I bring to work.
On the other hand all this free time allows more gym time right? Well that would be the case if I would actually go to the gym. I think in order to feel more in control I'm going to have to come up with a flexible summer schedule. Hopefully this will help with the out of control feeling and help me to quit eating everything.

The problem with goals....

is that when you don't reach them then you're all disappointed. So I just have no goals in life therefore I have no disappointments. Okay that's all a lie, of course I have goals and with or without them I definitely have disappointments. It's all those disappointments that teach us so many things and help us navigate life.
Sadly though I didn't reach my previous goal well at least not that next week. Instead of losing .7lbs I gained .4lbs. In retrospect though I had a really tough week that week with all kinds of food activities and although I might not have done as well as I could have I still did better than I would have before. I'm not gonna lie I was pretty mad about it and I really wanted to just say to hell with it all, who cares if I'm fat. But really I care if I'm fat, it's not like I'm doing this for anyone else. So I put on my big girl panties (meaning my older, wiser panties, not actual larger in size) and got back to work.
You know what happened the next week???? I gained again! Just kidding, I mean that could have happened but thank goodness it didn't cause that would have been too rough. I lost 3.8lbs. Then the next week I lost 3 lbs. So I've reached my 5% goal and am down 17 lbs. Weight Watchers online has also yelled at me twice for losing too fast. Yay!!
Now today I'm back to my weigh in day and I'm not feeling particularly confident about my weight loss today but that's okay because even if I'm up or stay the same I can always get back on. That is really what this is all about. Picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and getting back in the game.

New goal

Okay I realize that a couple of days ago I set a goal to lose 8lbs. this month, however, I have a new goal in mind as well. I'm still trying to reach that 8lbs. mark by the end of this month but I have a goal for this week as well. Smaller increments seem more attainable and gratification is quicker. This will help me keep up the momentum for the monthly goal as well. Last night I had weigh in and was down a pound from the previous week. This puts me at 11.4 lbs down since January. I'm really close to my 5% goal which means my WW leader announces my name and tells everyone that I've reached my 5%. Things of this nature make me happy. What? I like to be in the spotlight sometimes. I'm .7 away from my 5%. I realize this may seem like small potatoes to some but looking over the past 5 months of my roller coaster I really have to buckle down this week to ensure that I meet this goal. If I lose more great then I'm that much closer to my monthly goal. However, I realize this week I have some major obstacles in my path.

Starting with a luncheon I had today. I didn't have any of the donuts though. I ate 2 small slider sandwiches, one of which was missing the bottom bun, I also took the cheese off both and there was no mayo or mustard. When I was taking the cheese off my co-worker asked me if I didn't like cheese. I explained to her about WW and how I really don't care one way or the other about the cheese most of the time. Then she asked me all about WW and I had a lengthy discussion on the topic. I like these kinds of convos. I'm definitely always up for plugging healthy living. Then I had a small portion of pasta salad, some pita chips and a gob of dip, fruit, and finally half a brownie. I'm actually really proud of myself for being able to eat the food at the luncheon in moderation. I'm giving myself a pat on the back for my good choices.

Tomorrows obstacle will be more difficult as we are having ice cream sundaes after school for teacher appreciation. This even I'm going to have to avoid because I'm not one to just have a bit of ice cream. That's okay though because wearing smaller clothes will feel a lot better. Then Saturday I have a bridal shower, and dinner out Sat. night. Both of these are events I can navigate I'm just going to need to be diligent. Luckily though my bestie will be with me and I'm sure she'll help to keep me in check. :)

Remembering

I've been on WW again since the beginning of January, today is the first day of May and I am down 10 lbs. That's it. I've spent the past four months losing 10 lbs. While I'm proud to be 10 lbs. lighter this definitely isn't the best I can do by far. In all actuality I lost the 10 lbs in the first month and a half so I've just been gaining and losing since then. This is not where I thought I would be when I started this journey and it's definitely not where I want to be when I turn 30. So with a lil help from my friends I'm resolving to get my butt into gear.
My goal for this month is to lose 8 lbs. Ambitious? Yes! But I'm ambitious and goal oriented in every other area of my life so why should it be any different with my weight loss. I need to take some of that industrious energy and channel it towards a healthier me. I actually did win the award for the most industrious in 5th grade.
Every time I go to put something in my mouth I need to remember that feeling you get when you put an article of clothing on that was once tight and is now roomier. That feeling can last me all day long, it can put me in a brilliant mood all day long. The feeling I get from eating full fat ranch and fried mushrooms lasts about 20 minutes. I think I just need to keep things in perspective.

Look what I made

Tonight I came home and made myself a delicious meal. A BLT on light bread, with fat free mayo and low sodium bacon, roasted asparagus and tomatoes and cucumber with fat free feta. Don't forget the water either. I'm sure some people might look at my little meal and think "What's the big deal?". Well let me tell you that it's a big deal to me. Mostly because I am not a cook, I don't really enjoy cooking and have spent most of my life avoiding it. However, lately I've really began to take pride in my meals. It's not that they're amazing tasting intricate dishes that only a foodie could appreciate, it's more that they're healthy and I made them myself. I really take great pride in this. Yesterday I even made some mango salsa, grilled some pork chops and roasted some sweet potatoes. I must say I am rather proud of myself at the moment. :) Also I'm super in love with BLT's right now. I wish I had remembered to buy an avocado so I could have added a bit of that. Mmmmm....heaven!

Rollercoaster of love

This really isn't a post about love I just suddenly had that song stuck in my head, gotta love the Red Hot Chili Peppers. It's been kind of rough going lately. After my great 4.2 lbs loss, I had a 1.4 lbs gain. I really think it was all water because I was down on Saturday then went out Sat. night and had bbq on Sunday. By the time Tuesday rolled around I think I was still a lil dehydrated or at least thats what I keep telling myself. Ha! I skipped WW this week because my brother and cousin were in town and I was at my Grama's every night eating crap. I realize that those weeks are the times it's best to go to meetings and weigh in but I just didn't want to have to face the scale. Yes, I'm a coward at times but who isn't? This week I've definitely been half assing it but I'm glad to say that this morning I stepped on the scale and I'm down. This put me in a great mood. Directly after that I lost a $1.25 to the washing machine which put a slight damper on my mood however, I went to the grocery store after that and only spent $40. That in its self is enough for me to be super happy. Its a beautiful day outside which is only adding to my delightful mood this morning. Also yesterday I spent the day at the pool and managed to get slightly burnt. While it's not exactly comfortable I know it'll turn into a nice golden tan. Everyone knows that tan fat looks better than white fat. Hooray!!!!

I've been hiding

well not really. I just haven't blogged in a while. I've been super busy with work because I don't really do anything else. I lost 4.2 lbs. this week. This is awesome! The only downside is that the week before I had gained 4.4 lbs. This was over a 2 week period so it wasn't that horrible. Part of this was due to the fact that I went to Ohio for Spring Break. I stayed with my cousin and it's not that she eats really bad or anything but it's much harder for me to stay on plan when I'm staying at someone elses house. However, I totally made up for it by being super diligent this past week. Now if I can keep up the momentum I'll be down 11 lbs. I know I can do this I just have to keep with it. It also helps that people keep telling me at work that I look like I've lost weight. I've also been inspired by our class picture recently coming out. Lets just say I'm not looking my best. The shirt I was wearing was really big on me which I didn't realize. I thought it looked good until I saw the picture I guess it's better than it being too small.

Numbers in the Teens (They start with a 1!!!!) song

I'm posting this video because it's a super catchy song and I really want to show it to my students. They always confuse the teen numbers, unfortunately the school has youtube blocked so this is the only way I can show it to my kids. Aren't I such a great teacher? :)

Rollercoaster BLAHS

I really don't know what the deal is but I'm still feeling kind of blah. This week at weigh in I was down .2lbs. Which is amazing considering all the damage I did on Valentine's. It started with free breakfast tacos and juice. I ate one for breakfast and the other for lunch. Then came the chocolates. I love ferrero rocher (spelling?) and one of my students always brings it to me without fail. It was Valentine's day, I was alone, I had to eat some of it. Luckily I didn't eat all of it. Then Valentine's night I went out to dinner and ate a bunch of french fries, so I was pleasantly surprised when the scale was down. However, I know that it still could come back to haunt me.
This week I've been tracking and staying on plan but I still just have that blah feeling. Things at work are really bugging me and I'm just feeling a general sense of ugh. In fact last night I heard a commercial for menopause and before they stated what the condition was they told all the symptoms posed as a question, of course. My answer was "yes" to all of them. Maybe that's the problem, at 29 I'm going through menopause. That's not really true. However, I have seriously been contemplating the purchase of a cat, you can never start your collection to soon. :)

A case of the Blahs

This week has been quite "blah". Last week at weigh in I was down 9 lbs. I was stoked excited ready to go, I was all aboard the weight loss express. Then the girl scout cookies came and I ate almost and entire box of them on Monday. Then on Tuesday which is my weigh in day I ate a bunch more right before weigh in. So I was up .8lbs. It was okay though cause I was still pumped and still on that weight loss wagon. Then I got sick and have had a cold all week. We've also had a ton of work piled on us and yesterday I got to spend part of the day with my student pulling everyone else out of their chairs. Now its 6:40 am on Saturday morning I'm contemplating going to the grocery store before I have to go to work to finish my mounds of work. I stepped on the scale and its still up. BLAH! Hopefully I'll get out of this funk cause it's not cool!

No Snow :(

I'm sure that people in the Mid-west and even Dallas are tired of all the snow, but down here in Houston we were very excited to hear it was our turn. It wasn't going to be a ton but even a little is a lot to us down here. They canceled school today and most of the city was shut down in anticipation. I was definitely excited. I had plans to build a snow man on my patio and just admire the beauty and wonder of the magical winter wonderland. My kiddos were super excited. We discussed their plans yesterday to build snowmen, throw snow balls and make snow angels, which they described by flailing there arms and saying "you know the things were u lay in the snow". One kid was even going to build a school bus out of snow, he has a slightly concerning obsession with school buses. However, there was no snow to behold this morning. I don't know if I was more disappointed for myself or for my kids. Snow is magical for us Texans and even more so when you're small. Maybe Wednesday it will happen, you know for the kids sake. :)

In which I am attacked by a super bug!

I had big plans for this Sunday. I was supposed to go to the grocery store, target, the teacher store, home depot to get some plants for school this week, cook meals for the week, clean my apt. and get a lot of school stuff done. What I ended up doing was sleeping in my bed all day, with intermittent trips to the bathroom. I apparently contracted the lovely stomach bug that has been going around. This is probably the biggest down side of being a teacher: the germs. Usually my immune system does a pretty good job and I don't hardly ever get sick but this was not the case this time. Although I think I was exposed to it on a couple of different fronts so who can really blame my white blood cells. While I was in bed wallowing in stomach pain I did keep willing my white blood cells to fight harder, apparently they didn't listen so well. Today I stayed home from work as I still don't feel quite right and I don't want to give my germs to the kids who in turn would probably just return them to me. Hopefully tomorrow will be a much healthier day.

Issues

On Tuesday I went to WW and the reason there was no joyous post was because I only lost .2lbs. Yes, I sure did say "only" but in reality I'm pretty sure I lost more because during the weekend I had dehydration and sodium issues. That sounds so much nicer than I drank way to much cheap vodka and spent all day paying homage to the Toilet Gods and when I finally stopped I ate a bunch of chinese food because I was so hung over.

Needless to say, I will not be making that mistake again or at least not anytime soon. So I was a bit disappointed even though I probably did lose more. I think the worst part was it was only my 2nd week and I was worried I would fall off the WW wagon and not get back on. But, I did. I also forgot to mention the sodium laden chinese food I ate, I totally had the points for it. So even though I was kicked in the arse by vodka I still prevailed. Really the fact that I didn't abandon ship is probably the biggest victory here. So I didn't lose as much as I wanted or thought I should but this week is a whole new week.

Oops!

So I "wasted" my 100th post on the shortest blog ever that was only about losing 3.6lbs. LOL! I find this funny because I had been gearing up for the big 100 mostly because every other blog I read makes a big to do about their 100th post. Then in my weight loss induced excitement I forgot that it was my 100th. Oh well I think that post might of been the most important of the whole year solely because it marked my first weight loss on my journey this year. So I guess in hindsight it really was a big deal albeit a very short one.
On the exercise front I haven't really made much headway. I did go to physical therapy 2 times this week and each time I had to ride the bike and I do strength training for my left leg so that counts. I have been in a lot of pain this week though because of the cold weather so I think I'll cut myself a little slack but just a little cause we all know what happens when I cut myself some big slack. Yeah, I have to buy bigger slacks!
One of my good friends did finally join my gym this week also. I'm super proud of her for taking that first step and can't wait to have a workout buddy.
In other news, I have been doing a really good job this week eating within my points. I think I also found my secret breakfast weapon. The problem for me is I eat breakfast at like 6:30 am and then my lunch is at 10:30 am. I'm sure a lot of people think that I'm going to say I'm still full at 10:30 am but that is not the problem. I am starving by 10:30 am. The obvious solution would be to eat breakfast a little later but I get my kids at 7:30 am and then it's go time. I've tried eating at 7:15 but I'm still hungry by 10:30 am. The next obvious step would be to eat a snack in between but when I say it's "go time" I mean I am on the "go" from the time those kids walk in the door till they sit down at the lunch table. Plus I remember being little and hungry and seeing my teachers eating while I was starving, not cool. My brother so nicely pointed out that he never noticed that when he was little "so it must have been a fat kid thing". LOL! I think that's probably true. So the secret weapon I have found is oatmeal. If I eat oatmeal for breakfast it keeps me mostly full until lunch. So when 10:30 rolls around I'm hungry but not I want to eat everything in sight hungry, which is when I do the most damage. So if you're having the same problem I suggest trying some oatmeal in the morning to curb that appetite and lots of water of course.

Woo hoo!

I went to Weight Watchers tonight and I'm down 3.6 lbs. I'm really excited and can't wait to get through this week and lose some more weight.

The first week of the New Year

I just ended the first week of the New Year. It went pretty smoothly. We started back to work which automatically made me crazy busy and somewhat stressed. It's the good kind of stress though the kind that makes me motivated. I also like being busy, I get bored otherwise.

I went back to Weight Watchers on Tuesday. My starting weight 242 lbs. Now this number embarasses me to no end, I mean how did I let it get this bad. However, I need to keep myself honest so I figure if I put it out there for everyone to know then it might just help me to never be that weight again. Although I was a bit freaked out by my number I left the meeting with a new resolve. I think I truly am ready to lose the weight. My 30th birthday is looming ahead and I don't want to enter my 30's with all this extra me. It's only going to get harder and harder to lose so I figured I should take advantage now. Besides it's only going to bring a host of health issues. I've already had knee surgery at 29 so I think I'd like everything else to stay healthy.

I've done really well this week with tracking my points and eating the right things. The best part is that WW has a new system and most fruits are free. This makes it so so so so much easier for me. Before I wouldn't be too thrilled about eating a veggie for a snack but now I can just eat a banana for 0 points or blueberries or an apple or a clementine. The list goes on and on and on. It really has made all the difference. I'm still eating lots of veggies too. In fact most of my day consists of veggies and fruits. I also am always feeling satisfied and don't worry I'm eating all my points.

Next challenge is working out. I want to get to where I love the gym and hate to miss it. That may be a ways off but I have to start somewhere. Thursday my knee doc gave me the green light to ride the bike and do the eliptical so now I just need a plan. I'm much more successful when I have a plan. I'm gonna look at my schedule for this week and get back to you on my workout plan.

A Recap of 2010

January started off a little rocky as I decided to have an emotional breakdown the very first day of the New Year. It got better in February as my bestest friend had little Hadley who is such a cute baby. Then things went a little haywire in March as I managed to dislocate my knee. Thus began a very long recovery process but I did get to live with my Grama for 3 months. This meant someone washed my clothes, cooked me dinner and made my lunch. It was super nice. In April, I went on a date (gasp). Unfortunately, it was a one date kind of thing but in good news I was the one who got to determine that. :) May brought the end of the school year and I moved back to my own apartment. June was really crazy as I went on a super fun cruise with Christina, Hope and Hope's Mom. Then our principal got fired and a new one was hired. In July, my Mom moved to California so I got to help her drive from Oregon to Cali, it was nice to get to see my Mom and brother. Dad also flew to Columbia and got remarried, the jury's still out on this one. My In August, I went back to California to help my mom turn 50 then the school year began again. Becky also got remarried and I still haven't met the guy. September I turned 29 just one step closer to 30. Oh No! October was marked with a character costume parade in which I got to be Raggedy Anne and then a road trip with Christina to meet her relatives on her Dad's side. November was full of a lot of knee issues. I dislocated my knee again and had surgery the day before Thanksgiving, but it got my mom and brother to come down for Thanksgiving. December was full of standardized testing, gimping around with a brace, traveling to California and presents. :) That was 2010. Welcome 2011!