scalpel please...

Over Thanksgiving I had knee surgery. Apparently my tendons were so stretched that if I didn't have surgery my knee was just gonna keep popping out of place. I had the surgery the day before Thanksgiving. My mom flew in the night before so she would be there with me. It wasn't really a big deal just outpatient but they did put me under and they intubated me. I knew I was going to be put under but I didn't know they were going to put the big old tube down my throat. I found that part out when I woke up and thought I had come down with strep throat because my throat hurt.

I wasn't too nervous about it mostly just worried that they wouldn't give me enough anethesia and I would be able to feel it but couldn't tell them. Doesn't everyone have that fear? Good news is I didn't feel a thing until I woke up and it hurt A LOT! I started crying it hurt so much so they gave me some morphine which didn't help so they gave me some more which still didn't help.

I had to gimp around on Thanksgiving. Now I'm wearing a hinged brace and can bend my knee 30 degrees. I also still have one stitch still in which sucks because it means I can't get my knee wet. It is a big pain in the ass to wrap your leg in saran wrap and then trash bags before taking a shower. Hopefully this week the doc will take the last stitch out. He'll also change my brace so I can bend my knee a little bit more. YAY!

The worst part is that it's hard to walk. It's also hard to lug my leg around with a giant metal apparatus attached to it. It makes my whole body tired. Needless to say I've been going to bed even earlier at night. The upside is that I'm getting a good workout everytime I walk so maybe I'll lose some weight that would be nice.

Just call me Tiny Tim

I managed to get a doctor's appointment yesterday. He basically looked at it, wiggled it, wiggled my good knee and then said "At some point you will need surgery". I didn't ask when some point would be that's probably important to know. He did say I need another MRI because the x-rays came back fine. That's the tricky thing about knees, x-rays look fine but then the MRI comes back and show you jacked everything on the inside up. I was able to get my MRI done yesterday afternoon as well. This time I told them I was claustrophobic, which usually I'm not only when it comes to MRI machines. They put me in one that was more open and less coffinesque, so no anxiety for me. I have to go back Thursday and that's when he'll be able to tell me more. Until then I have to wear my knee brace and use one crutch. I hope no one mistakes me for Tiny Tim. :)

Ooops I did it again....

I dislocated my knee again! I was actually doing the same exact thing as last time. Pulling my pants up in the bathroom. Once was embarassing enough but a second time? really? I mean who dislocates there knee twice while pulling there pants up? This time I was at home and my cousin just so happened to be here. Otherwise I would have been crawling around trying to find my phone to call the ambulance. That would not have been fun. It popped back into place and we pulled out my knee brace and the crutches and she took me to the hospital. This time wasn't as bad as far as me being freaked out but I feel like it hurt more this time. The x-rays came back fine and nothing is broken. I'm waiting until my orthopaedic doctors office opens to get an appoinment and thats when the real fun will probably begin. So once again I am a gimp.

Gettin jiggly with it!

I had a dream last night that someone told me I was "jiggly". I don't even remember who it was in my dream that told me that. I'm thinking it's my subconcious telling me to quit being fat. Every week I think okay this week i'm gonna do it and then i don't. But, I'm gonna be 30 in a year and I'd rather enter my thirties as skinny not fat or at least healthy.

She's works hard for the money

I'm still alive. I have thus far survived the beginning of a new school year. It's actually my 6th school year as a teacher. It's been busy, exhausting and of course, EXCITING! I feel like I've been working my butt off. Coincidentally, I've actually had several people comment that I'm looking thinner, so maybe I really am working my butt off, I wouldn't mind that. :) I'm a lil weary of their comments however, seeing as how I have been living off pizza and chinese food for the past 2 weeks, no seriously. I did actually go to the grocery store yesterday though seeing as how I have 3 days off. Hopefully that will help me to actually start eating more healthy so my butt really can come off. We shall see!

Movin on.....

It's not up that I'm moving. This year I had to move classrooms. I've been in my classroom for all five years of my teaching career. It's a HUGE room with lots of cabinets and space and a bathroom and 2 sinks. It's also in the hall with lots of my friends and it has a back door. I'm sad to be leaving it mostly because I did not want to move 5 years worth of stuff. My new room is a lot smaller, no storage and no bathroom. There's also only one door. I keep telling people I feel like I've been living in a luxurious mansion and am now moving to the slums. LOL. It's not too bad though I got it all moved thanks to a fellow teacher's husband who was forced by his wife to be my own personal mover. Man, I can't wait to get married...haha. Although I wasn't super thrilled about this move it has forced me to get rid of a lot of useless stuff so that's a good thing. Here's a some pic of my new room with all my stuff piled on top of the desks. This has become my life the past week.

Signs of the impending school year

1. My eyelid is twitching.
2. No one can find me because I'm buried under all the stuff in my classroom.
3. My apartment is full of crayons, markers, scissors, glue etc....
4. My once a day Starbucks addiction returns.
5. If anyone does see me I'm sweaty and dirty from all the dust in my classroom.
6. My second home is Lakeshore.
7. My first home is my classroom.
8. I'm re-training my bladder to only pee once a day.
9. I re-learn the art of speed eating.
10. Multitasking becomes my middle name.

So that's how people get morbidly obese....

by eating two dinners. I'm ashamed to say that tonight is not the first time this has happened in my life well at least my "fat" life. I can say with pride though that it doesn't happen often. Yay for a lil self control. I love to watch shows about super obese people. I don't know why but I find them and their stories fascinating. Maybe subconciously I like to watch them as a warning to myself about what can happen if I let it. Apparently lately I have not been watching enough of these shows as tonight I ate dinner twice. Both the dinners of course were unhealthy so its not like I'm eating salads for twinner (two dinners). I did however, look at a bunch of pics from a few years back when there was a lot less of me, 45 lbs. to be precise. Oh where did you go skinny me and when will I ever find you again? I know you're out there somewhere. Now if I can just find you.

The sun always comes up tomorrow

This past couple weeks have been a lil stressful. I hate when lots of crazy stuff happens and I get all overwhelmed and don't know what to do. I also hate it because it makes me cry and be all sad and then I feel even worse. I hate crying and unfortunately I am one to cry easily. I don't like it because it makes me feel weak and vulnerable and well it's really hard to talk with a big ol' lump in your throat. I mean really what is that? I'll need to goggle it I think. Anyways when lots of stuff happens at one I know that I'll get through it and that everything will be okay. It's the waiting part that I'm not a fan of. I never know what the timeline is for the crap to stop getting piled on. I know it's gonna stop but I'm not one to enjoy the wait. But, alas I feel that the clouds have broken and the sun is once again making an appearance. Yay! The stress isn't totally over but I see the end in sight or at least I think I do. I don't want to count my chickens before my eggs hatch but everything seems to be falling into place and that is a good feeling.

Just average!

There has been exactly one time in my entire life that someone has called me "average". It happened my third year of teaching. This year was by far the most difficult, challenging, horrendous year of my teaching career, maybe even my life. I made it through it though. I might not have always done the best thing but I tried my hardest that year to do what I thought was the right thing at the time. The other teachers use me as a reference when telling stories about horrible teaching years, this is how bad it really was. Average people would have run from the building screaming and never looked back. Average people would have packed up their pointers, stickers and markers and abandoned those kids but I didn't. I know what I did that year was a feat of phenomenal proportions. However, that year I was still called "average". Even though I know that the majority of the time I am anything but "average", those words still haunt me. I can't get rid of them. It's been two years and every scary thing brings me back to those words. It's really frustrating. I want to know how to get rid of these words. I seem to think that maybe if someone tells me I'm extraordinary then that will make everything better. I'm not totally sure about that plan but somehow I've got to get over it.

Just stop and wait a minute!

I like to read other people's blogs. In fact most of the people's blogs I read I don't even really know them personally. That may seem strange but I think a lot of people do this. I have found myself reading a lot of blogs written by parents with special needs. One of the blogs I have been reading on a regular basis is about a girl with down syndrome who was battling leukimia for the third time. Today she passed away. I don't know her or her family but it made me stop and think.
All day today I was annoyed about money, finding an apt., being fat, finding a reunion dress, going to my 10 year reunion, having a fever blister, packing up my current apt., moving, finishing my gt class and having to move classrooms. What's really crazy is that after reading this blog I realize that I need to appreciate all of these things. I'm healthy and happy. I have a job. I have friends and family who are healthy and happy. I have a house and a car. I have food and health insurance. This family that lost their daughter/sister/cousin/ aunt had to deal with her illness for so long and now they have to grieve her death and here I am mad because things aren't going how I think they should.
This made me realize that I need to do a better job of appreciating the blessings in my life. I also need to take a minute and remember to live. Life is not about the finish line it's about the race. It's funny that someone I don't know and will never meet gave me this reminder but it just reiterates what a special girl she must have been.

Runner, I am not

Today I made it to the gym. Yes, I realize that everyday millions of people complete this feat, in fact some people do it more than once a week. Crazy! I know. Anyhoo, I clearly am not one of those people frequenting the gym on a regular basis. I'm more of a sporadic kind of girl. I figure the gym appreciates the surprise.
I had a goal today that I was going to start the Couch to 5K running program. I've started it many times but I've quit it just as many. I figured I'd give it another try. I was a bit apprehensive about running on the treadmill because I'm always afraid I'll fall off. Now with my knee messed up too I'm also afraid that I'll trip a little bit and then twist my knee causing it to dislocate and then simultaneously causing me to fly off the treadmill. I can imagine how painful this would be physically and mentally. As a preventative action I decided to wear my brand new knee brace. It's not as cool as it sounds. It makes my knee feel weird and it's hot but that's less bothersome than dislocating my knee so I guess I'll put up with it.
The first, round of jog 60 seconds walk 90 seconds wasn't bad. The second round of jog 60 seconds and walk 90 seconds wasn't bad. The third was my downfall. I'm sure you're disappointed to hear how quickly my body surrendered but it's the truth. After struggling through another round I just plain stopped. I'm sure you're disappointed and probably yelling "quitter" at the computer screen which you are totally justified in doing. However, I came to this conclusion. I hate running. I've always hated running. I'm slow. It hurts. I can't breathe. However, I really want to be a runner. So I've made myself a compromise. For now I'm going to shelf the program and continue to workout on the treadmill, elliptical and hopefully Zumba. Once I'm actually in better shape then I'll attempt to resume the program. I know that if I keep trying like this it's just gonna make me miserable and further my intense hatred of running. So for now I'll just be a WALKER.

Your heart has to be in it.

I read the above quote in an article today about diets and weight loss. They basically said that until your heart was really in the whole dieting process that it wouldn't work. Well they're right. I am a perfect example it seems like for sooooooooooooooooo loooooooooooooooooooong I've been doing the same thing. Down a pound, up a pound, down a pound, up a pound, you get the picture. It's like a hamster running on a wheel that's stuck. How sad is that? I mean you watch the poor little hamster just running it's little heart out but that wheel just isn't moving. So you very nicely reach in and give the wheel a little push and voila the hamster is on the move again. The hamsters moving and so is that wheel. I just need someone to reach in and give my wheel that little push.
Today at WW I did lose 1lb. this week. That's a good start now if I can just keep that wheel moving I'll be alright.

Let me tell ya about my best friend....

okay I have 2 best friends but this post only talks about Carmela. We are both tired of being unhealthy and overweight so today we decided that we would do a weight loss challenge with each other. The goal for this week is that each of us has to lose 1 lb. It doesn't sound like a lot but we're just doing it one pound at a time. We're technically starting tomorrow because both of us have weigh ins so that will be the weight from which we have to lose our pound.
The best part about all of this is it's very reminescent of all the schemes, projects and ideas we have had over the years. We started a club called "Girlz to Women". We created a dance to a Janet Jackson song, we made up cheerleading routines, we wrote a fashion magazine, organized a fashion show, wrote a novel about our crushes, and the list goes on. It's funny cause we're adults now and we're still creating little projects with each other. So let the weight loss begin!

Hey Fatty Magoo

Dear Wii Fit,
I appreciate the opportunities you give me to workout. I appreciate the variety of workouts you offer as well as the option to calculate the minutes I've worked out and calories I've burned. I also appreciate the time you take to test my center of gravity. However, is it really necessary to weigh me (hard enough) then calculate my BMI and inform me that I'm obese. Not only do you make the little arrow go up to the obese section, you orally tell me I'm obese and then proceed to make my Mii look the part of obese, while playing failure music. I'm sure that you think this brand of tough love your offering is going to motivate me to workout more and eat healthier. You my friend, are mistaken. All this does is make me want to shout obscene words at you and curse you for being a computer who has the audacity to call me a fat a**. I know I'm obese you don't have to reiterate it at every turn. I would appreciate a nicer version of informing me of my less than stellar BMI and weight. I mean how would you feel if I called you obese all the time over and over again. Probably not very good.
Sincerely,
Juli the obese

Ahhh crap!

I hate when I mess up. However, it seems to be a re-occurring theme in my life lately. It really sucks when it comes to my weight loss especially because it's not like I had been on the wagon so long. It all started Friday morning when I woke up late and didn't have the energy to go to the gym. Instead I just stayed home and did my knee exercises. Then one of my best friends called me and asked if I wanted to meet her in Katy for lunch. So instead of working out I drove to Katy. We went to her cousins house and ordered pizza. Okay not the healthiest thing but I figured 2 pieces and a coke wouldn't be the worst thing ever. So after that I headed to school for a meeting. It was a stressful meeting. After that I met my cousin for Happy Hour, where I drank lots of light beer. Okay this day was going down hill fast. Then we decided to order pizza and I ate a cupcake.
One bad day, these things happen I can redeem myself. Saturday morning I wake up and all that beer was hitting me so I go to Whataburger. Later that day I went to McDonald's and got a kids meal. After that I headed to Clute to hang out with my other best friend. There I ate a crispy taco and drank a Dr. Pepper. Later in the day I consumed a bag of chips and a cherry dr. pepper. For dinner we actually had a really healthy dinner but then we had cake.
Sunday morning we got up and had bacon, eggs and buttery white toast. When I got home I decided I needed to stop eating all this crap so I got sushi and another regular dr. pepper. After all this crap I decided to step on the scale, I was up 5 lbs. since Friday. I was so upset I ordered a pizza, go figure. AHHHHH!
Why do I do this? Now this week I'll be working the whole time to loose the weight I had already lost. It fills like its a never ending vicious cycle that I can't seem to break. I'm back on track this morning and am about to do my knee exercises and then play the Wii. Guess I'll just keep plugging away this week.

A small victory

Today I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in more than a month. I had physical therapy during my meeting time thus, the long absence. Today I put on my big girl panties and went to face that scale. I had made peace with the fact that more than likely I had gained since I had not been really following the program and I also had went on a cruise. On the cruise I spent most of my time lounging, eating and drinking. I had started counting my points and working out but that had only been for two days which I realistically realized probably had not made much of a dent in my weight loss efforts. I was very pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale and I had lost 1.6 lbs. SCORE!!!!!!!!!!! That puts my grand total at 3.4 lbs since December. Maybe not the most success I have ever had on the program but I'll take it.

Tricky Scale

This morning I set my alarm so that I would get up in time to go to the gym before I had to go to a doctor's appointment this afternoon. So my alarm went off but I didn't get out of bed. The really sad part is the alarm was set for 8:30 am, not a crazy 5:30 am or anything. I guess it really is summer when i can't even get out of bed at 8:30 am. Needless to say I did not go to the gym this morning but I did do my leg exercises so at least there's a little activity in there.
I like to step on the scale a couple of times a week before I go to WW because well honestly, it keeps me on track. When the number is down I get more motivated when the number is up I get more motivated. I know it's not always a good idea to weigh yourself everyday but sometimes during the week does keep me accountable. My WW leader also confessed to us that she does the same thing for the same reason. Since today is weigh in I thought I would hop on the scale just to see. When I stepped on it the number that flashed up was 12 lbs. less than the day before. I'm not good at math but I know that there's no way I could have lost 12 lbs in a day. So I stepped on it again. The same number flashed on to it. Again, I couldn't believe it. So I stepped on it again and again the same number was there. I didn't want to get excited cause I knew this wasn't right but a part of me was thinking how cool it would be if my scale had been messed up all those times before. Finally, I decided I needed to test the scale. I thought I would be a 10lb. bag of sugar on it but I didn't have a 10lb. bag of sugar. I, instead opted for the 1lb. 10oz. jar of spaghetti sauce I had in my pantry. Yeah, it didn't even register on the scale. Once again I stepped on the scale and this time it actually put my correct weight on there. I was definitely a little disappointed but it just reaffirms the fact that if I want the lower number on the scale then I do have to get to the gym and I do have to eat right. On the bright side at least it didn't say I had gained weight. :)

Let's get it started....

The finished product. I tried to put whip cream on top to make it look like it was from the cover of a magazine but the whip cream didn't cooperate. Hopefully by the end of the summer I'll have perfected my food photographing technique.



Before I blended up the delicious concoction.


After my whole post on me and my relationship with pizza and my nonexistent relationship with exercise, I actually did something about it. YAY for me! On Friday, I got up and I went to the gym. I walked a mile on the treadmill and then I rode 3.5 miles on the bike. This may not seem like a lot but I'm still working with a bum knee so I'm not supposed to overdo it until I've built my quad muscles up. I asked the doc about Zumba but he said not for another six weeks. So I think I'll wait 3 and then wear a brace. It's mostly just the pivoting and quickly rotating my knee that is dangerous. Apparently those types of movements make my knee want to relocate to a different part of my leg.
Back to the gym. So the best thing about the workout other than the post workout high and the obvious health benefits, the bikes at the gym are totally built for lazy people. These bikes have arm rests which means I can read my book while riding it, hence the reason I was able to ride for so long. Also the bike has a fan that can blow on you while you ride. I'm wondering if this is supposed to simulate the wind blowing through your hair as you ride across the country. Well whatever it's for it keeps you nice and cool as you ride your bike read your book and sip your water with lemon. Okay, there wasn't any lemon in my water but you get the point.
Finally, I made the BEST shake the other day. I got the recipe from hungrygirl.com. I love this site because it has all kinds of cool recipes and she does all kinds of reviews for food products. It's also all healthy stuff, that's the most important part, I guess. It was a chocolate and banana shake and it was only 3 weight watchers points. It was smooth and creamy and tasted like a real shake. I can't wait to make another one.

Somethings gotta give

This is me on pizza!



This is me on excercise!
Any questions?


Okay, so I'm back from my cruise. Well I've been back since Monday and now it's Thursday. It took me a couple days to recover. Most of the recovery process included me lounging around my apt. eating copious amounts of Chinese food and pizza. Well this morning I stepped on the scale. All I can say is "S%*#! and F*#$!". My whole summer plan has been to come back from my cruise and then workout every morning. Well the only workouts I have been doing since my cruise are the ones at physical therapy which are actually something. Let's be honest though I'm not making myself do those I HAVE to do them. It stands to reason that I don't actually HAVE to do the physical therapy ones but if I ever want my knee to be normal again and not dislocate then I HAVE to. I need to somehow trick my brain into thinking the same thing about regular working out. I mean if I want to live a long time and not be all miserable and riddled with health issues then I really do HAVE to workout. However, it's a little harder to get motivated when there's not anything actually reminding me of this like a swollen knee. That's the other issue. I'm not sure exactly what I can do yet other than walk and ride the bike. Yes, I know I can do those things but I bore very easily. The gym does have Zumba which I've heard alot of great things about however, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do that yet. Guess I'll have to ask the doc this afternoon when I go. Finally, there is water aerobics. My biggest hurdle here, other than wearing a bathing suit in public is I don't want to excercise with a bunch of old ladies, cause by golly I'm not old yet. I'll probably have to get over this one because in reality this would be the best excercise for my knee.

Yummy in my Tummy

I'm dedicating an entire post to the dessert I just ate/ possibly invented. First I took a chocolate vitatop and defrosted it in the microwave. Then I put a little bit of reduced fat peanut butter on top of it and microwaved it for 30 seconds. Then I topped it off with some fat free cool whip. It was so so so so so so good. It also was not crazy fattening or unhealthy. I think the only thing that could have made it better was adding some sliced strawberries. Oh I love when I find desserts that can satisfy my sweet tooth but not add to my butt.

***disclaimer: That is not the actual picture of the dessert that I ate, I borrowed it from the web. I had inhaled mine before I could even think to take and post a of pic of it.

Summer Log: Day 1

Today I am counting as the official first day of my summer vacation. I realize I didn't have to work yesterday but very few people did so since it's my blog I get to make the rules. :) I woke up at 7:30 this morning even though I didn't go to sleep until 11:30 last night. My plan is to try and keep on a schedule throughout the summer thus ensuring that I don't sleep the day away or as my Dad says "sleep my life away". But, 7:30 is too early, I was thinkin more like 9:00 so I'll have to work on that.
In preparation for my cruise I had to run errands this morning. First, I went to Target where I stocked up on more travel size bottles to smuggle alcohol onto the cruise with. I also got the new Chelsea Handler book. She's totally my hero, I'll have to do a separate post on her.
After I went to the nail salon and got a pedi and my eyebrows waxed. I have missed pedis so so much. I can't even remember the last time I had one. The best part was when I got my eyebrows waxed and the lady actually complemented me on them. The crowning victory was when she didn't ask me if I wanted to have my lip waxed. That may seem like a small victory but every time I get my eyebrows waxed they ask me about my lip. Now if I thought I was growing a mustache i would totally do it but I don't see it and neither does anyone else. I always leave really self conscious about my upper lip. Some might say "Why don't you just let them wax it?". I have three reasons for this 1. It costs more money 2. The hair will grow back thicker and darker and then I really will have a mustache and the most important reason 3. I DON'T HAVE A MUSTACHE!
Finally, I hit the library for some reading materials on the cruise. I read a lot and pretty quickly so one book will not last me the entire cruise. Then I went to the grocery store because I have absolutely no food. I only bought a few items and it still cost me $40. Good thing I just have to feed myself.

A to Z

a. area code: 77096
b. bed size: queen
c. chore(s) you hate: cleaning the bathtub
d. dog's name: nonexistent
e. essential "start of the day" item: coffee
f. favorite color: pink
g. gold or silver: silver
h. height: 5'5 and 1/2
i. instruments you play: alto sax and fife
j. job: child educator/wrangler aka teacher
k. kids: are hilarious
l. living arrangements: apt.
m. movie: The Hangover
n. nickname: Boo boo, dot, booli, wooli bear, juls, ju, Boo,
o. overnight hospital stay: negatory
p. pet peeve: liars
q. quote from movie: We're the three best friends!
r. righty or lefty: right
s. siblings: Jason
t. time you wake up: 5:30
u. underwear: always wear them
v. vegetables you dislike: belle peppers
w. ways or reasons you are late: traffic
x. x-rays: knee
y. yummy food you make: nothing, it's always better when someone else makes it.
z. zoo animals you like: all of them

The last day of school

Today was the last day of school for my students. It's always a bittersweet event because although by the end I am in need of some serious r&r, I do actually miss my kiddos. It's so great to get to teach Kinder because you get to see your kiddos change so much throughout the year. I'm really proud of my kids this year because they all did really well. They were a really great class. Although I did have my fair share of wild ones. I actually had 16 boys and 7 girls. Crazy!
I also had a kid today that came to me and said I have poo poo water. What? Apparently he meant diarrhea, which sucks but from now on I'm totally going to call it poo poo water. I love Kindergarten!

The stairs: My arch nemesis

Today I faced and beat my arch nemesis: the stairs. I realize that most people probably don't think of the stairs as being highly evil however, when you mess up any part of your lower body it's a whole new ball game. Okay, really I've never liked stairs and the only reason I live on the 3rd floor is for safety reasons. Yes, I realize if a fire breaks out, I'm screwed but I mean safety like robbers or murderers. Again, I realize I could still be robbed or murdered on the 3rd floor. However, I reason that these robbers and murderers are not law abiding citizens it seems they like to take the lazy approach to life. Let's be honest how many lazy people do you know that are going to climb 3 flights of stairs when you could do the same thing on the first floor? I digress.
Back to the stairs. The doctor told me that I needed to start practicing climbing the stairs before I could move back to my apt. So I've been practicing on the stairs at physical therapy. It's on the fifth floor, but I just climb up one flight and then walk down one flight and do the same on the way out. So today, I ventured to my apartment and for the first time in 2 and a half months got to go into my apartment.
Luckily, I had not been robbed and it didn't stink. There were some interesting experiments growing in the refrigerator, though. I thought my mom and grama had cleaned it out but I guess I was mistaken. I hung out for a little while and then made the trek down the stairs.
Going down the stairs is actually a lot worse than going up the stairs. I've never understood this because I would think climbing up is harder than going down because going down you have gravity helping you out. The doctor had already warned me about going down and pointed out to me that the majority of people fall down stairs not up them. I have to say the doctor was right going down was more work and was more painful. However, I made it and hopefully will be moving back to my apartment sometime this week.
So who's the winner now stairs?

Hey Gimpy Buckaroo!

Today I had physical therapy. I actually like physical therapy. It's not really that hard and everyone is sitting around talking and joking. It's a really upbeat atmosphere, which is probably better for the healing process. I secretly have the urge to constantly ask everyone what their ailment is but I've only been three times. So it'll probably pop out on the 4th visit.
The best part of physical therapy is when they put these electrodes on my knee and then put electricity into it. At first, I thought it would hurt, but it actually makes it feel really good. I was also concerned the first time that it would malfunction and then accidentally electrocute me. That did not happen either. I'm just glad that I didn't ask if that was even a possibility. I'm kind of beginning to understand why people think I'm kind of ditsy.
So the embarrassing thing that happened today was after the electrocution of my knee the P.T. guy was unhooking my leg and asked me "Do you have a lot of work to do tonight?". I said "yeah, why?". Then I was like crap why did i ask "why?", he probably thinks I thought he was asking me out or something, which is even more embarrassing because he's married and had been talking about him and his wife just having gotten back from vacation. Then he said "oh no reason I was just wondering". I then tried to cover it by saying "oh I thought u were going to give me more work to do tonight". What a dork I am!
When I left he chided me for still gimping around and told me I need to practice walking normally. I explained to him that I really didn't remember how but he told me to try anyways. So I'm walking back to my car and I swear I looked like a cowboy with chaps and spurs on, approaching a dual. Then all I could think of was Woody from Toy Story. Oh, how I constantly feel like J.D. from Scrubs!

Where's my crown?

So I've come to realize that I'm a bit of a drama queen. I know, nobody likes a drama queen, I don't even like drama queens, so it's kind of weird that I've decided to classify myself as one. I'm not the kind that intentionally stirs up trouble, most of the time, things happen that I really don't intend to. However, sometimes my reactions to things could probably be toned down a notch or two. But here's the really crazy thing most of the time I don't really want attention, I really do just want to be left alone because well I don't want to be the "dramatic" one. I think inadvertently this has caused me to become that person. I also don't mean to let things upset me so much but well I don't know what else to do about it. I'm also not a good faker. Maybe I should have suspected something when my parents always told me to stop being so melodramatic.

Bending my knee

is much harder than you think. My knee has been straight for six weeks and now after all that time my doc wants me to bend it. On Thursday when I went to see him he asked me if I could bend my knee. I found this perplexing because he told me not to bend my knee so I'm not really sure why he was asking such a goofy question. I mean I figure he's the expert so I'm gonna listen to him and not sit around for six weeks trying to bend my knee. He then proceeded to tell me to bend it and I responded "no, i'm good". I may not be a doctor but common sense prevailed here I knew it was gonna hurt. He made me bend it anyways and it did hurt. Then even more shockingly he told me that I have to start bending it and that I should be able to bend it like my right knee by monday. This appointment was Thursday afternoon. I'm sure my face had "you're smokin crack" written all over it.
Despite my apprehension I have been trying to bend it and well it hurts but I guess it's getting a little easier. It feels like stretching a rubber band. I also spent last night (Saturday night) sitting in the recliner with a heating pad on it trying to bend it. Not a typical 28 year olds Sat. night, but that's another issue entirely.

Adios Espana!

Two days ago a sad, sad event occurred. I had to email English Summer and tell them that after four years I would not be making the trek to Spain this summer. It was a sad event all around. Okay, maybe I was more sad, but Simon did email me back and tell me I would be missed. That made me feel better.
The doctor said that I could go to Spain but I would have to work really hard in physical therapy to get my knee back to normal, and honestly normal for me probably isn't even that great. I decided that I needed to give my knee a break and let it heal slowly instead of trying to push it. Also there's lots of knee straining activities in Spain. Getting my huge suitcase on and off trains, up stairs, walking everywhere, and of course lots of synchronized dancing. I fully intend to return next year so my knee better get better.

Maybe that's just the way it's supposed to be...

So this morning I did a very brave thing and stepped on the scale. I don't know what I was expecting, a miracle? I mean I have to sit for the majority of the day right now and can't excercise and I'm staying at my Grama's house, so of course I haven't lost any weight. But, I have been using crutches which seems to have been giving me a crazy workout, I mean muscles that I didn't even know existed are sore. Still not the best excuse to douse my salad in regular ranch.
It's hard to eat totally healthy when I'm not the one making the food. Now, I'm not saying my Grama is serving me sticks of lard or anything but she's always been a skinny person. She has been afforded the luxury in life of eating things made with real cream cheese and butter and creamer. I on the other hand don't get to do those kinds of things. At home it's all fat free or reduced fat cause I just can't eat the regular stuff all the time. This is difficult to explain to her cause it's not that what she eats is unhealthy it's just not the healthiest for me.
Needless to say I feel kind of frustrated at this point and can't help but think maybe I'm just supposed to be fat. Maybe I should just live with it but really I don't like it, it doesn't make me a happy person. As of right now I'm in a bit of a quandry as to what to do.

My flippin Knee

A couple weeks ago I had a little mishap. Of course it happened at a totally inconveinent time as all mishaps do. I had taken my Kindergarten class to the rodeo on a field trip. It was a really cool field trip until my mishap. We took one last bathroom break before we were going to get on the bus and head back to school. In the bathroom I managed to dislocate my knee. Yes, I typed that correctly. I don't know how it happened or why but it did. I got put on a stretcher and wheeled to an ambulance and then was whisked away to the ER. At some point my knee relocated itself but it still hurt ALOT! At the hospital they took an xray and everything looked okay. They put me in a brace, gave me some crutches and sent me on my way. So for the past 2 weeks I've been laid up at my Gramas. I unfortunately live on the third floor and I'm not allowed to bend my knee. I also can't drive my car cause it's a stick and it's my left knee that's messed up.
After an MRI this week, my ortho has informed me that I did in fact tear my knee up pretty good. Which means for the next month I have to wear this brace and use crutches. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about work as it's kind of hard to keep up with Kindergarteners when you're on crutches. As of right now I'm not sure what's gonna happen. But everyone should appreciate their healthy, in the correct place knees, cause you never know what'll happen.

BORED!!!!!!!

I am bored, very very bored. There are a ton of things I could do. I have tons of papers to grade, workstations to plan, laundry to do, and food to make. Yet none of those things seem even remotely entertaining. I've checked facebook a zillion times and it seems most of my friends are off on exciting adventures. Oh well. Maybe I'll go find something to do.

lock down

I highly doubt that anyone actually reads my blog, and I'm okay with that. However, because I am applying to teach internationally I have to make my blog private. I don't want people putting my name in google and comin up with this blog. Really, I dont think there is anything inappropriate or scandalous but I'd rather be safe than sorry. So if anyone is lurking out there and reads it and wants to keep reading it then just send me a message and Ill add u to the list. I totally lurk on tons of other blogs mostly of people i don't even know, so really I'll be flattered more than anything.

I LOVE....

I probably should have done this yesterday since it was Valentine's day and that would make more sense, however, my time machine is broken so today will have to be the lucky day. Here are some things I love in no particular order:

my family
my friends
God
Jesus
Spain
Spanish
my students
my car
my ipod
spanish
Wii
hummus
yoga
peanut butter
books
reading
blogging
travelling
sunflowers
my bed
wine
sushi
learning
school


There's probably alot more stuff I love but that's it for now.

Oh Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and it stinks. I know that I'm supposed to be all positive and not be a negative Nelly about it but really it's super annoying to be reminded every year that I'm alone. I know this isn't the worst thing possible in life that could possibly happen but after a while you get a little tired of it. I know I'm single, I know I have absolutely zero love interests right now, I don't need the giant flower and crazy balloon maze that I have to walk through at the grocery store to remind me. I think the thing that worries me the most is that what if this is as good as it gets? I like my life, it's not a bad life but I dont want to spend the rest of my life hugging my pillow in my sleep. That's just a lil sad. I'm sure some people will say oh don't worry you're only 28 and while that is true a small part of me can't help but worry that 28 will turn into 38 and then 48 then 58 then 68 and then 78 and then 88 and Ill be chilling in the retirement home with nobody next to me and no visits from kids and grandkids. That is the part that scares me the most. I also relize that I can have kids without a husband but really I don't want to choose to be a single mom. I know lots of single moms and they are amazing people but I want to be able to share all those things with someone else. I just want someone to hold my hand, that's all. The End.

Working out: Day 1

Today was my first day back to the gym, I wish i could add after a 2 week vacation but sadly I can't even remember the last time I went to the gym. But, hey I got there today, although Carmela did have to send me a motivational email and I had to read why people don't go the gym by Jillian Michaels I still went. It was even raining and I was sooooo tired. But, I did it and now I feel really good. I walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes and even though it may not have been the most intense of workouts but again, this is day one. Now if I can just keep this up. :)

and I gained .8lbs

Today I had my WW meeting and I'm not gonna lie I went in expecting to see a gain, however, I was hoping that I wouldn't. In an effort to not let this totally derail me I need to figure out what happened, accept it and then move on. So last week i had lost 4.8lbs. in one week. That is super crazy for me I've never in all of my WW efforts had a loss that big in one week. So that may have played a small, miniscule part in my gain. However, lets be honest, that probably is the smallest part of it. So here's some things that may have contributed to this gain. 1. I drank wine this week. 2. I ate chili dogs. 3. I ate chalupas and margaritas. 4. I took Thursday off from WW. Well not completely but enough. 5. I ate lots of salty stuff.
So some things I've learned for this week. 1. I need to work out, any type of activity is better than none. 2. I need to track everyday and make an effort everyday. 3. I need to cut back on the alcohol. 4. I need to move on after mistakes and just keep goin. Here's to a loss next week. :)

I <3 day weekends!

I love three day weeekends. I don't know if there is a better invention in the world. I love them more than I love holiday weekends, I do realize this is a holiday weekend but it's not a holiday that my family celebrates. Don't get me wrong we all think Martin Luther King Jr. was a great man and deserving of his own holiday but we don't celebrate in the sense of getting together and eating. Since we don't do anything for the holiday that means i just get 3 days to do whatever I want, with no expectations or concerns. I get to stay up late and sleep in. I love sleeping in even if for me it just means until 7:30 am. I think the thing I like most about all this is the pure and simple FREEDOM! I dont have to be anywhere or do anything. It is also gives me ample time for mindless activities like watching movies, blogging, facebooking and various other things.

Just blogging because I can

I don't have anything super specific to blog about today. I just felt like doing a lil blogging so alas that's what I'm doing. Here's some things that are going on right now. My students and I are in the midst of the evil Stanford test and unfortunately it's just as evil as all the years before. I think next year I'm really gonna try to teach Pre-k cause all this testing is getting to be too much. I mean the board just passed a measure where if your test scores are low for three years they can fire you. It's very frustrating for me as a teacher because 1. all they're taking into account is how my kids do an a standardized, developmentally inappropriate test that's administered in January. Also the test is supposed to be used to determine which students are gifted and talented, not which kids are on grade level. It also frustrates me because my livelihood is now dependent upon small children whom most of can't even pee in the toilet, seriously our bathroom floor is always covered in pee. Common sense tells me that it's super ridiculous. I sometimes wonder what the people who make all these decisions are thinking, I mean all I can picture is some type of wildlife sitting around in a meeting picking ticks off of each other.
Now don't get me wrong I know there are teachers out there who do not do their jobs. I'm not saying those teachers should be allowed to keep teaching and I'm not saying that I shouldnt be evaluated every year. I am however, saying that maybe instead of using one single test we could look at overall growth over the whole year. Maybe a developmentally appropriate test should be given at the beginning of the year and then at the end of the year. Then you can tell me if I'm a bad teacher or not.

and so begins another year

We have been in the year 2010 for 10 days and I have yet to actually record my resolutions for the year. The past couple of years I have been anti-resolution making simply because I just end up breaking them. However, this year I've jumped back on the bandwagon and am making some and I'm putting them on here so the entire online community can hold me accountable. Okay, that prob won't happen but at least a year from now I can go back and read them, which I did from last years. Reading last year's beginning posts I realize I'm pretty much in the same place I was last year it's just been a year. That is unacceptable I mean everyday I read some type of life altering, reinventing self inspiring quote about living ur life etc....so maybe this year Ill actually pay attention. So here are my resolutions for 2010:

1. Take care of myself. My whole self, emotional, and physical. I'm supposed to be in the prime of my life, so maybe it's time I started taking care of myself. I mean physically I'm pretty sure that my 76 year old Grama is in better shape. If I took care of myself physically then emotionally would follow close behind, its funny how those 2 things are related. This means going to my WW meetings, eating right, and working out, continously for the rest of my life. You can't just be healthy for a year and then expect it to stick without any effort on your part.

2. Get out of debt. Okay, this will take me much more than a year but seriously I have entirely too much credit card debt, I mean it's probably worth a small island. J/K I hope it's not that bad but I do have to stop overspending and stick to my budget. I need to stop accruing debt, so good bye credit cards.

3. Appreciate things more. That means everything, the things I do have, my family, friends, opportutnities etc. I need to stop taking things for granted and be more appreciative of the things i do have and think less about the things I dont.


I think this is probably a good start to the year. I mean I have to keep these things up for 12 months, I don't want to overload myself. So here's to a new year and may I read this next year and have accomplished these things. :)